Mom's Reviews
One day in early 2000, my mom reviewed some records, based on a single song and their artwork. The titles of the songs used are linked to short realaudio clips, stolen from whereever I could find them.

Sunny Day Real Estate - "Bucket of Chicken (mp3)"
From the "How it Feels to be Something On" 45 on Sub Pop Records.

Mom: ...It took too long for them to start singing. I don't particularly care for the voice. It's too high for a man. I don't know. The music is okay. Who is this group? (I tell her) Oh. It's kind of repetitive. I can't really understand the words very well. (later) It's too long. It's okay. I don't hate it. I didn't even like rock music as a youth. The packaging is interesting. It's unusual.

  
Elliott Smith - "Son of Sam"
From "Figure 8" on Dreamworks Records.

Mom: I like this one better. I like the music better, I like the vocal better, but I still can't understand the words. Who is this? (I tell her) I like his voice. This is more folky, more my kind of music. (Is this something you would listen to?) I think it's something that would grow on me. It's not something I would go out and buy for myself but if you played it.. like, do you remember that trip we took to Central (Michigan University) and I became an Elvis Costello fan? I think if I was exposed to it on a regular basis I would like it a lot.

  
The Delta 72 - "Monopoly of your Mouth"
From "The Soul of a New Machine" on Touch and Go Records.

Mom: I don't like this. What is it? (I tell her. What don't you like about it?) I find the singing very annoying...and the music..it's a little annoying. Not as annoying as the singer. The packaging does nothing for me, and their music does nothing for me either.

  
Braid - "A Dozen Roses"
From "Frame and Canvas" on Polyvinyl Records.

Mom: I've heard this one before a lot on the radio. Who is this? (Probably not on the radio..it's Braid) Then around the house. I like the vocalist. The music's OK, I still like Elliot Smith the best. This would be number 2. I could understand the words a lot better (song progresses into a shouty part) well, at first. They were very clear. (later) Definately Number 2. The packaging is kind of plain - I don't see the significance.

  
Bjork - "Joga"
From "Homogenic" on Elektra Records.

Mom: (Do you know who this is?) Bjork. The beginning sounds like a showtune from a broadway production. I like it though, she has a very good voice. I've heard this one, many times, too. Maybe that's why. This would probably be number two and that other one (Braid) would be number 3. I like her voice very much. (Do you like the music? The drums?) I do. They're unusual. Are they electric drums? You can tell. I'd probably listen to this.

  
The Cure - "Mint Car"
From "Galore" on Elektra Records.

Mom: (Robert Smith does his intro scream) Ohhh my god... (a few seconds later) Oh, it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. That first second, I was ready to... (My little brother ridicules Robert Smith in the background) oh, it's not that bad. It sounds.. 'queen'-ish in a way. (Queenish like the band or queenish like drag-queenish?) Queenish like the band. This would be second last probably. This one isn't that annoying really. Who is this? The vocalist kind of gets annoying, but I don't think the music is that bad. He just gets annoying in certain areas. I like the music. I'm even tapping my foot! (My younger brother comments on Robert Smith's sexuality) Are they a gay band? (Is that the impression you get?) No, not at all, that's why I asked. Maybe this would take the place of that first one (Sunny Day Real Estate). The packaging is kind of cute.

Final Mom ranking:

  1. Elliot Smith - "Son of Sam"
  2. Bjork - "Joga"
  3. Braid - "A Dozen Roses"
  4. The Cure - "Mint Car"
  5. Sunny Day Real Estate - "Bucket of Chicken"
  6. The Delta 72 - "Monopoly of Your Mouth"
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